Stress

Whew, what a stressful week I have had! It probably stems from a combination of things, including the volunteer newsletter at work, deciding whether or not I want to take the GRE, deciding whether or not I want to move to Kansas to stay close to Jeremy, working too much, having too many other commitments and obligations outside of work and Maureen.

First, the volunteer newsletter. It is something I do every month and I take a little pride in it because I worked hard to bring it from a boring report format to a newsletter format with interesting articles and contributors. This month, however, things did not come together. The computer at the Pettigrew could not handle all the graphics in the newsletter and would often freeze up when I tried to go past page 3. I lost an article Bill (the director) wanted me to put in. When I called him to find out where he had saved it on the network so I could print off another copy he told me it was not saved on the network. Seriously, who types up something like that on a computer and then doesn't save it somewhere? So I scrapped his article and tried to find something else to fill the space. In the past few months I have been trying to get a volunteer to make a contribution to the newsletter. This month it was Jan Koski. She is very interested in death, mystery and the supernatural. She wanted to do a story on Pettigrew's mausoleum and why his second wife and kids are not buried in it and if his brother's ashes were really stolen. The people at the cemetery were not helpful so her story got held up, but she finally got it in. Then there were copier problems I won't even get into right now. It's done, but it took way too long and caused too much stress.

In addition to museum work now I have all these golf course commitments. This weekend I am working Friday night, Sunday and Monday. I am sooooo tired of working so much. I have hopes of recuperating during the week nights, but that never seems to happen. There is always some commitment, some other obligation I have to meet. Too much demand for Amber, she's starting to get worn out.

Tonight at the archaeological society meeting (one of my many obligations that I enjoy and regret at the same time) I talked to Maureen. Maureen is a character. I started talking to her after the meeting. We covered a wide range of subjects, mostly about her and her adventures in life with different kinds of people in all different kinds of places. We both agreed that leading sheltered unenlightened lives is unhealthy and leads to ignorance. She then started talking about how she lived in the ghetto in Chicago and how she had to be defensive to protect herself and her belongings. Maureen asked me what I would if I had a gun and someone was raping me. I thought, holy cow, she really gets down to business. I told her I was a pacifist and these situations had crossed my mind, but I hoped I would not use the gun to kill the person hurting me. She told me I was foolish and would react differently if I really was in that situation. Maureen really thought I had not gone over these situations in my head. I mean, I cannot say what I would and would not do as truth because these "bad" situations have never happened to me. I will not try to predict the future. I do know that I have strong nonviolent beliefs though, and I have rationalized and analyzed them. We just have different world views and I do not think mine makes me foolish. I don't think hers makes her foolish either. Anyway, I guess she can think whatever she wants. Hopefully I can convince her I am not just some idealistic fool.

Lately, I have had to think a lot about my near future. I signed up to take the GRE (test required to get into most graduate school programs) October 15 at 9 am. I decided that I still want to persue archaeology and to do that and get the kind of job I want, I need to get more education. So here goes. Wish me luck.

Jeremy is moving to Colwich, KS (near Wichita) as soon as he finishes his dissertation. He thinks I should move to Kansas too. It has been a hard decision to make, but I think I will go with him. Initially, I was not so sure it was a good idea, but then I started looking at my life right now. I would miss the friends I have made in Sioux Falls and the community I have established for myself. I would miss being close to my parents and extended family. I am not, however, extremely tied to my job, which does not support me financially. It would actually be a good time for me to break away and pursue my archaeological dreams. Originally, I was attracted the the University of Montana's archaeological program, but Wichita State University has one too. I have always thought education is part institutional resources, but mostly what you, the individual, makes of it. I am sure I can get a good education anywhere I go as long as I apply myself and look for good opportunities. Since I might be moving to Kansas sometime this winter does anyone know of someone looking for a roommate? Hook me up, yo.

I am thinking next week has to be better.